in a world where saying is the new thinking...

it's all coming. notes about the corrupt enterprise of schaedenfraude, the election, and, of course, the credit card industry.

thank GOD for the fall. between the cutting breeze and the delusions of grandeur, it's the best! the leaves ain't bad neither.

my third day of work.

today was really exciting. i learned a lot about what people call "the economy", and it turns out that we're not just whining-- it really is bad! but we can help make it better by offering services to people. seriously, i have no delusions that i'm engaged in a philanthropic mission here, but i do see the potential for us to do some good for some people, or at least to make them happy.

so far, i love being in an office tower, i'm impressed by the people i'm working with, and i like the company culture. can't ask for too much more. it's nice to have pride in where i work, since my former employment location (my room) jsut isn't that nice.

also, i don't want these posts to get too scatalogical, but let's just say i visited the men's room 4 times, and, like many companies these days, i was disappointed in my Q2 results.

my second day of work

CRAP! i forgot to write something on my second day of work. the upshot is that i learned a lot, and that i need some nice, shiny shirts.

my first day of work.

hello. today i started my new job, and here's a list of things that got me excited:

1) security protocols. there's secret, extra-secret, classified encrypted deluxe, and ultra-invisible cipher. soon, i'll learn when to use each one!

2) "the cabin". another employee said he just got back from the cabin on sunday night, so he was wiped out. who knew there was a cabin? i can't wait until i get access.

3) footage of hot air baloons. there was some in the orientation video, and i realized how valuable that footage must be. your average, everyday stock photo or clip won't always cut it, so i'm going to start a business in which i take footage of hot air baloons and set it to inspirational music, like stravinsky's "the rite of spring" or sinead o'connor's "black boys on mopeds". (i'll also have these clips available in "mute".) then, i'll sell them to corporate folk, hot-air afficienados and music fans!

also, i learned a new term: promissory estoppel. and by "learned", i mean that i signed a form agreeing to it without knowing what it means. turns out that it means we both have to keep our promises, which is great. i thought the technical term for that was "promises", though.

i can't wait to go back for my second day of work!

well well....

... it's been some time, dear readers (but since this page isn't ready for public consumption, the only person who should be reading it is ME (and eden)).

man, some interesting times here in the non-internet world. i don't even think i'm allowed to say on the internet the sort of things that have been happening.

so that's it.

IMPORTANT UPDAETE ON VITMAINS!?!?!!

alert reader eden points out that there is indeed a vitamin K. alert website wikipedia points out that vitamin k doesn't do shit! i corroborated that report by speaking with noted vitamin expert dr. roy g. biv.

me: dr. biv, what can ye tell me about vitamin K?
dr. biv: well schedule one, Vitamin K denotes a group of lipophilic, and hydrophobic, vitamins that are needed for the osttranslational modification of certain proteins, mostly required for blood coagulation. Chemically they are 2-methyl-1,4-naphthoquinone derivatives.
me: can you tell us exactly what that means?
dr. biv: that it doesn't do shit!

so there ye have it, folks... now don't forget to take yer vitamins, except for D which is stupid, and K which is "barely there"

hat tip to EDEN or something.

HERE'S MY POSITION ON TEH VITAMINS:

VITAMIN A: love it, great for yer eyes, rabbits need to take 43059 milligrams a day to maintain cuteness
VITAMIN B (THE WHOLE COMPLEX): THESE ARE MY FAVORITE they're so nuanced and amazing and i love the was they're one big happy family pluswise it's li;ke a frikkin bingo game.
VITAMIN C: the old standard otta have respect for mr. C
VITAMIN D: can suck it. seirously the sun is so stupid it's like the whole flippin' world revolves around it all the time, and besides how the fuck can it beam vitamins into me from 934859043 miles away?
VITAMIN E: the old gray gentleman of vitamins, carry on good sir, you're doing yeoman's work.
VITAMIN K: i seriously thought there was a vitamin K until a few seconds ago
VITAMINwater: was good but it just got bought by coke so screw it

i'll discuss the secret vitmains later but for now i only had 90 seconds to write this so i'm OUT.

a partial list of pet peeves

. ... when bartenders or waiters leave a little bit of the paper wrapping on a straw. i hate straws to begin with, and i really can't stand the effortful carving of the perfect deliverabl straw sheath. just don't fucking touch the end, or don't give me a straw at all.

... when the street-crossing signs in movies set in historical new york don't match with the era. donnie brasco was a great movie, and i particularly liked the vintage cars that were in every street scene. but if you're going to do all that, would it kill you to change the walk/don't walk signs as well? i'm no fan of the hand + the albino AOL guy... i mean hell, it took me about 12 years to get used to the grid overlay (like this:
but donnie brasco was set in a time when the signs had their own shelves, and there was no grid in front of them. why take your viewers out of the scene like that?